The Secret to All Good Relationships

Are you happy with the relationships with your partner, parents, children, friends, and colleagues?

Do you find one relationship much harder to cultivate than others? Is that feeling mutual or one-sided? Do you know the root cause of that problematic relationship?

The quality of all relationships is determined by two factors: beliefs and expectations. 

Beliefs represent feelings, sentiments, and impressions. 
Expectations mean anticipation, presumption, and reliance.

In all good relationships, our beliefs and expectations are consistent with each other. We know we’re getting what we expected to receive.

In strained relationships, the gap between beliefs and expectations are enlarged, sometimes, to the polar opposite. In these extreme situations, we’re hurt by what we receive. 

Think about the most challenging relationship you have right now. If this particular relationship is worth keeping, try the following steps to build a stronger connection. 

Step One: Think about what can you change to shorten the gap between your beliefs, expectations, and those of the other person?

Step Two: Talk to that person about your beliefs and expectations and hear what the other person says about theirs. What you find out might surprise you.

Step Three: Examine two sets of beliefs and expectations, find common ground between the two, and start from there. 

You might find something surprisingly reconcilable. 

Good relationships requires ongoing maintenance. Learn to triage crises and challenges by reviewing your beliefs and expectations periodically. 

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