How to Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously

The more you want to protect and defend your old identity, the less likely you'll transform the way you think and act.
Dr. Ivy Ge's blog post - stop taking yourself so seriously

Life Becomes Infinitely Better When You do…

That is it. 

Before you attempt anything related to mind transformation, the number one rule is to stop taking yourself seriously. 

Why? The more you want to protect and defend your old identity, the less likely you?ll transform the way you think and act. 

We are built differently than men. We hang on to the bad things for too long, question ourselves too often, and hold ourselves to incredibly high standards that men could never understand. Immediately after the euphoria of new motherhood, we went back to work, believing we can handle the hybrid position that requires 24/7 diligence despite mounting anxiety and the mind-numbing routine of bottles, diapers, homework, and school projects. 

Picture an overweight guy in his forties riding a shiny Harley motorcycle on the freeway with loud vroom and even louder pride. His arms outstretched, his face beaming. Did he care anyone watches his love-handle jutting out of his black muscle tank? Not at all. His mind is with the sun, the wind, and the open road in front of him. Now imagine yourself sitting on a Harley, giddy for the rare occasion of a freedom ride. You feel light and free, you like the feel of the wind on your face, tossing your hair wildly. Suddenly, you become aware of the breeze brush against your midsection, and your mind zoomed in on that jiggering sensation. Is your T-shirt lifted by the wind? How much of the muffin top can others see? You struggle to remain calm while looking for the sign of the next exit. No more freedom on this ride, you see? 

The truth is, no one is watching you, at least not for long. Most of us are not that interesting. Social media made us more fascinating than we deserve. The bar is set so high, it?s stressful to measure up. Can you think of anything more awful than everyone else believes you?re happy when you?re depressed and deprived? Think of the eclectic chef Anthony Bourdain, the talented actor, and comedian Robin Williams. Money and fame didn?t help these celebrities live happily to the golden age, think they would make you feel good? 

You want a happier self, stop taking yourself seriously. Crack a joke about yourself if you can. No one is perfect, so why pretend? Superiority repels. The true masters make us ordinary people feel stronger and better than we are. Be genuine, it?s easier to live that way. Research shows people find those truthful and honest are disarmingly likable. The thing with lies are after you lied once, you?ll have to keep lying to get the record straight until the point you hate yourself. Every lie and excuse we give others is a brick we lay around us; eventually, the brick walls will box us in. Remember back in 2013, how Lance Armstrong finally admitted using banned performance-enhancing drugs in the seven successive Tour de France after years of denying it?  

Stop thinking about how others feel about you, focus on how you feel and figure out how you can feel better. Stop pleasing the people who only want you look and behave in a certain way. They are not our true friends. If something makes you feel good, do it more often; if some people make you laugh, spend more time with them.

Don?t be afraid to try out new things. New experiences give you new perspectives, either about yourself, or about life, and often both. Embrace the moment of stepping into new doors, where you?ll find more opportunities inside. Count these new experiences as blessings, as they open up your eyes to a life you?ve yet to discover. 

Dr. Ivy Ge

Dr. Ivy Ge

Doctor of Pharmacy, author of The Art of Good Enough and Life Transformation Journal. She writes to inspire women to design their own fate. Her writings and interviews have been featured on MSNBC, Thrive Global, Working Mother magazine, Parentology, and The Times of India.

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