Now I know Why People Hate Squirrels
A friend gave me some Swiss Chard seedlings. I was giddy at the prospect of harvesting veggies in my yard. Farm to table, how alluring!
For hours I worked on planting these tender-leafed babies. First, scouting for the best shady location, then layering compost for optimal growth, digging holes, planting the seedlings, and watering them.
When everything was done, I watched the tiny leaves trembling in the easy breeze, while my imagination fast forwarded to the harvest season. What a glorious feeling!
I went inside the house to clean the dishes, humming a made-up tune. Every so often, I sneaked a peek at the newly planted seedlings through the glass panel. It was just perfect.
When the laundry was done, and the floor was clean, I couldn’t help checking on the Swiss chards.
In the yard, a fat squirrel stood on its hind legs, munching on something. I watched it enjoy its meal, wondering how similar we were, both giddy over good food or the prospect of good food.
I glanced at the Swiss chard seedlings and froze. They were gone?!
I turned to the fat squirrel. How dare you!
It spun around, holding a half-eaten leaf.
Ahhh! I screamed.
It startled the fat squirrel. In a moment of shock, it dropped the leaf, then picked it up again.
I screamed louder. NOT FOR YOU!!!
The squirrel leaped up the wall this time, and stayed up there watching, still munching on the leftover Swiss chard leaf.
I looked around the yard for rocks. None to be found.
You fat, greedy scoundrel!!! I screamed. My neighbors could hear me, but I didn’t care.
The squirrel stood unfazed on the wall, polishing off the last bit of my Swiss chard.
I thought of the carving knife in the kitchen.
As if reading my mind, the fat squirrel darted out of sight. I stared at the empty wall, filled with rage.
My friend said he had more seedlings to spare. That night, I stayed up Googling the most effective way to keep squirrels away. All cost money, and none were foolproof.
Every time I walked past the empty plot where the tender-leafed seedlings once stood, I thought of the fat squirrel, and my farm-to-table dream.