I’m Angry and Disappointed. What Should I Do?

A reader writes to me about her disappointments in life. She has big dreams and works hard toward them, but nothing is happening. Here's what I tell her...
I'm Angry and Disappointed. What Should I Do? - Dr. Ivy Ge [The Art of Good Enough]

Hello Ivy,

I’m angry and disappointed with life. I wish to travel to exotic places and care for the animals, but that’s not happening. I worry I may have to work till I die, never visiting these places, or having no loved ones around me when I’m old and ugly. Some people stay on welfare for life while I work every day. How is it fair?

Angry and Disappointed

Dear Angry and Disappointed, 

It sounds like you’re a loving and adventurous person, looking for a change in life. Without knowing the details, I’ll put in my two cents to address your concerns. 

Unfulfilled Dreams and Desires

 

Moving from where you are to where you want to be may feel like building a giant bridge connecting two continents—overwhelming and impossible to achieve. However, all great things are made piece by piece, one step at a time. Perhaps a few other places might bring you similar experiences to what you have in mind – somewhere closer, less expensive, and less daunting. The point is, if you’ve been working so hard for so long without a reward, it’s incredibly challenging to keep going. We’re only human, and we need meaningful connections with ourselves, our environment, and our higher purpose.  

Give yourself a gift of a change once in a while. If only just for a few hours every week or month, depending on your situation. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, just something that makes you smile and feel grateful. 

Once you form the habit of rewarding yourself for the good work you do, you’ll feel happier, more confident, and hopeful. 

I'm Angry and Disappointed. What Should I Do? - Dr. Ivy Ge [The Art of Good Enough]

Tell yourself every morning and night, you’re good enough, and you’re ready to receive all good things coming your way.

 

Fear of Aging

 

We all age. We all have our insecurities. I don’t like my big calves, but I’ve learned to appreciate their functionality. When I practiced boxing and kickboxing, my masculine calves earned me some admiration in the training circle. I think of ways to dress and make my calves look more appealing than annoying. 

The thing is, I’ve come to the point I don’t hold these imperfections against myself anymore. They’re all part of me. Those who love me accept all of me. Those who don’t, I let them go. I focus my energy and thoughts on those who care about me, and care about them deeply in return. 

If physical appearance is important to you. Do something about it. Hydration, sleep, and good nutrition all can help you with a healthy glow. If you choose to have procedures done, that is fine, too. It’s your body and your decision to look the way you want.  

However, when you realize how hard your body parts have been working for you through highs and lows in life, you will learn to appreciate them, rather than wanting to change them. For example, I could do something to reduce my calves, but I choose not to. I prefer functionality over aesthetics at this point in my life. It was a different story in my twenties, so you see, I’ve changed.

Your inner peace will change your perception and attitude toward yourself. You’ll begin to focus on your qualities more than your shortcomings. 

Frustration with Takers

 

No one gets rich by taking. We grow by giving. Those who rely on handouts all their lives and never take responsibility to improve themselves, will hardly grow as individuals. They’ll never travel to those wonderful places and have the amazing experiences you aspire to accomplish. By receiving without contributing, their lives are defined in a much narrower space than yours. 

Some people need help because of circumstances; some want help because of habits. Not everyone thinks long term. Those who don’t plan and act, go through life without a purpose. They eliminate their own opportunities for success. No need to compare to them. 

You have wonderful aspirations. Learn to take breaks and appreciate yourself. Start thinking about how to take little steps toward your dreams. Once you get on the right path, your outlook will shift and brighten. You’ll look back at this period of your suffering, and realize how far you’ve come along. 

I hope this helps. Sending you positive energies and good thoughts.

Ivy

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Dr. Ivy Ge

Dr. Ivy Ge

Doctor of Pharmacy, author of The Art of Good Enough and Life Transformation Journal. She writes to inspire women to design their own fate. Her writings and interviews have been featured on MSNBC, Thrive Global, Working Mother magazine, Parentology, and The Times of India.

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