How to Save Your Relationship During Quarantine?

You’re feeling trapped, anxious, and lonely at home, next to your partner who is equally mad and sad. What if you can prevent your relationship from going bad to ugly during quarantine? What if you can win back the love and passion that bought you together in the first place? Discover how these three household items can boost your relationship!

What you need is a calendar, a timer, and a trash can!

The first item you need is a calendar.

Seeing each other 24/7 is way too much exposure. You’ve got to give each other the room to breathe. Divide up your living space into sections; each party takes a section as your home office. Decide on the time and duration of NO CONTACT block-how many hours a day, from what time to what time, and stick to it, no interaction at all. This way, you both can have a life of your own, at home.

Next, divide up household chores based on each party’s preference and expertise. If you like to take out the garbage, and your partner likes vacuuming, mark on the calendar, who is going to do what, at what time. Write them down and keep your promises. Be as specific as possible. If one party fails to do his or her share, there will be penalties. You both can decide on that, whether it’s a flat $10 each time, or an escalating scale, like the first offense is $10, then repeated violation is $20, and so on. If you have children, let them be the judge. They’ll get the job done. This way, you are sharing the responsibilities together.

Pick one day each week to switch office space, and house chores, to appreciate each other’s efforts.

So, this is how a calendar helps you share the burden and create space for each other.

The second item you need is a timer.

Set 15 minutes for face to face communication. Really sit together and look at each other. Each party gets 5 minutes to talk about whatever is on his or her mind. The other party can only listen, no comments, no making faces, no shaking head, just listen. When 5 minutes is up, switch to the other person. When both parties have a chance to speak, you spend the next 5 minutes talk about what each party can do for the other person based on what you just heard. Start small, be specific, if you don’t know where to start, focus on the things you can easily do but often forget.

Remember the rules, no comments, no making faces, and shaking heads, just a genuine offer to help and do it.

You do this every day, 15 minutes at a time. Within a week, you will begin to see each other in a new light. We all want respect and acknowledgment in a relationship.  

So, this is how a timer helps both of you feel understood and valued.

The third item you need is a trash can.

Clean up the house together. Working with your hands alleviates mental stress. The process of going through old stuff helps bring back memories of the old times, reminding both parties why they were together in the first place.

Deciding what to toss and what to save as a team unites the couple and confirms the common goal of the relationship.

Once you clean up the house, you not only rekindle the love between you but also give yourself a peaceful environment to be productive at home.