How to Ask for Help Without Feeling Guilty About It

There’s a common misconception that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We often feel like we’re imposing or that we’re not good enough when asking for help. This isn’t the case at all. It’s actually a sign of strength and confidence to ask for help when you need it, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
The benefits of asking for help
Asking for help has many benefits. Here are a few reasons why it’s good to ask for help:
1. Asking for help shows you’re willing to admit when you need assistance. This is a sign of strength, not weakness.
2. Asking for help means you’re more likely to get the assistance you need to achieve your goals.
3. Asking for help can build relationships and create opportunities for collaboration.
4. Asking for help can make you feel better. Often, just the act of reaching out to someone for assistance can help to ease feelings of stress or anxiety.
5. Asking for help can save you time and money. It’s a smart and efficient way to get things done. If you’re able to get the help you need, it can free up your time and resources to focus on other things.
6. Asking for help can improve your mental and physical health. Studies have shown that people who ask for help tend to have lower levels of stress and anxiety, and better overall health.
7. Asking for help can give you a sense of control. It can be very empowering when you feel you have the resources to stay in control of your lives.
8. Asking for help can increase your self-esteem. People who ask for help often have higher levels of self-esteem than those who don’t.
9. Most people are happy to help others. It makes them feel good to do so. Helping others creates a sense of purpose and improves life satisfaction. Because of this, many people regularly volunteer or donate to charity.
How to handle the guilt of asking for help
If you’re feeling guilty about asking for help, remember the benefits of reaching out for assistance. It can have a significant positive impact on your life.
1. Talk to someone you trust about why you’re feeling guilty. A fresh perspective can help you process your feelings and work through them.
2. Remember that everyone needs help sometimes. There’s no shame in admitting that you need assistance.
3. Focus on the positive aspects of asking for help. Think about the benefits of building a support network in your personal and professional life.
4. Seek professional help if you’re struggling with guilt. A therapist or counselor can assist you with validated tools and strategies to overcome the challenge.

How to ask for help when needed
When it comes to asking for help, it’s important to be specific and strategic. You don’t want to come across as pushy or needy. Here are some practical ways to ask for help:
1. Be specific about what you need help with.
When asking for help, be as specific as possible about what you need assistance with. This way, the person you’re asking knows exactly how they can best help you. For example, instead of saying “I need help with housework,” try “Can you please help me load the dishwasher?
2. Start with a small ask.
Remember, asking for help builds a sense of community and support. It takes time to build trust in each other. Don’t overwhelm the other party with a complicated, time-consuming request, or you’ll come across as being unreasonable and demanding.
3. Offer something in return.
When you ask for help, be prepared to return the favor. Let the person know that you’re more than happy to help them out in the future. This way, they’ll feel good about helping you and will be more likely to do so.
If you have something that the other party values, offer it in exchange for their assistance. This could be anything from a favor to monetary compensation. For example, you could say “I’ll do your dishes for a week if you help me with my math homework.”
4. Ask for help from someone who owes you a favor.
If there’s someone who owes you a favor, now is the time to cash in. Politely remind them of the favor they owe you and ask if they can help you with what you need.
5. Don’t be discouraged by rejections.
If someone rejects your request, assume they’re not in the position to help you. Don’t label them as selfish or feel angry about the rejection. Holding grudges is an emotional burden that can have a negative impact on your health.
If you’ve always helped someone, but that person refuses to help you out. It’s a clear sign they aren’t interested in reciprocating support. Disassociate from them and find someone who holds the same value as you.
Asking for help has many benefits. It shows that you are resourceful and in control, and makes the other person feel good about helping you. If you feel guilty about asking for help, remember the positive impacts it can have on your life. When asking for help, be specific, start small, and offer something in exchange.
We all need help from time to time, and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need assistance. So go ahead and ask!

Dr. Ivy Ge
Doctor of Pharmacy, author of The Art of Good Enough. She writes to inspire women to design their own fate. Her writings and interviews have been featured on MSNBC, Thrive Global, Working Mother magazine, Parentology, and The Times of India.